Keys To The VIP

Imagine – the hippest night club in town. drinks. two men on a quest to pick up women. women being seduced. and 4 young guys watching and criticising the whole scenario from another bar across town.  No, it’s not exactly the type of fun I would have on a Saturday night, but exactly the kind of show that, surprisingly, I’ve been following since summer!  Yes, the show sounds sleazy or lewd , precisely my initial reaction when I saw it for the first time too, but what do you know, now, I’m hooked on it! Strange.

I don’t watch a lot of TV.  Actually, I rarely turn on the TV.  I only do so whenever it’s time for the evening news.  I used to follow a number of TV series but all of them are gone now; so there’s no reason for me to turn it on anymore.  Sometimes, when boredom hits me, I try to find some decent ones.  One day, while aimlessly channel surfing, I came upon this show wherein it featured 2 guys
competing against each other just to be able to pick up some women.  It didn’t even take me 2 minutes to change the channel. What a waste of time!  I didn’t have any plans of spending my time watching a show which only presented how to play women.  I caught it several more times after that but I just always changed the channel.  I told myself –“please, not another useless man’s show! Why would they even want to put this on TV?!”  It just showed how to catch women, as if they were some prey.  One day, I saw a glimpse of it again and finally this time, I learned of its title – Keys To The VIP (A Professional League for Players).  The mere title alone made me shake my head and roll my eyes. But what the heck, I decided to check it out and see what it was really about.

For those who are oblivious to KTVIP, it’s a 22-minute Canadian reality TV, which shows how 2 guys play their game in a club.  They have to outdo each other’s performance in three rounds.  For each round, the show has set different styles of how to pick up women, get their attention, their numbers, even a kiss.  Styles like:

“Angry Ex-Girlfriend” – Pick-up a woman while a surprise actress pretends to be an angry ex-girlfriend.

“Divide and Conquer” – Isolate a woman from her group of friends before attempting a pick-up

“Freestyle” – 3 minutes to demonstrate your most impressive seduction technique

“The Hyena” – Each contestant must retrieve a woman’s phone number while his opponent is sent in, determined to steal her away

“Palm Reader” – Pick-up a woman by performing a detailed palm reading and predicting a romantic outcome

“Quiet on the Set” – During the pick-up, each contestant must ask the woman to be quiet while he listens intensely to the music playing
for 30 seconds because it reminds him of his grandmother

“Talented Mr. Ripley” – Convince a woman that you have the same occupation as her.

“Why You Suck” – Initiate conversation with a woman by telling her why she sucks.

“The Laugh Factor” – Make a woman laugh.

While all of these are happening 4 male judges are observing from another bar.  Supposedly, each male judge comes from the four corners of the male psyche:

Alen – The cold, calculated master of pick-up analysis (he admits it, he’s a dirty bastard!)

Peachez – An ex-all-star jock inspired seduction specialist (a big African-American guy with legs for arms has Peachez for a name… Hmmm)

Sheldon – Mysteriously coy and unorthodox philosopher (philosopher, huh?)

Chris – A hopelessly romantic man of integrity (yeah, right, man of integrity!)

After the judges have seen how the 2 guys performed, they would then assess them and proclaim the winner.  The prize – access to a special party with the winner’s select friends and a group of VIP girls ((a.k.a. hot chicks who would be his “harem” for a night. (hay, men!))

At this point, you might be wondering why am I watching this stupid show or what could possibly be so worthwhile here.  If you’re a man, then you’d immediately know; but if you’re a woman, you wouldn’t be able to see it…at least not instantly.  It’s precisely the same question someone asked me when she learned that I was already following it.  (Weird, ‘cause just a a couple of months before that, I was sort of following or at least tried to catch it whenever I can, “The Life and Times of Tim,” a cartoon, which I safely assumed, was
created by a man for men! What can I do?  It was funny! Haha! :D) To the question, I replied, “It makes me laugh.  Besides, I’m educating myself!” Haha!

Setting aside all the issues of gender politics, and decency, and just really see it as it is, a reality show, it is really a hilarious one – the way the judges criticise and mock the poor contestants; their exchange of banter; and of course, the contestants themselves and their actions, just make me laugh.  If you just want to have a good time and be amused, KTVIP can offer you that.  If you’re going to take this really seriously, I don’t think you’re going to like it one bit.  It’s just like watching South Park.  That cartoon is sick, offensive and most of
the time, politically incorrect, but it does make a lot of sense.  It is twisted but it paints the things that are happening in society.  It can be truthful… in a very satirical and sarcastic manner.  I know some people who dislike it, saying it’s offensive.  I know it is, but I guess you really just need to be really open about the whole thing and don’t take it all critically.  I suddenly miss Cartman.  But I digress. Going back…

KTVIP presents the dating scene from a male perspective. According to Peachez, the show was created with an objective to teach men the ways of how he could attract a girl and hopefully, establish a real relationship with her in the long run.  It was not intended to promote polygamy.  Essentially about the “game,” it was intended to teach men (especially those that are let’s say, on the “loser” side of the court. Hehe) to meet a potential partner, to make her wanting more.  Some women may frown upon this, but if you really look at it, isn’t dating, really just one big, in its purest sense, game?

Earlier, I said I was educating myself when I answered the question why I was watching it.  What is there to watch when it is a show for men, you may ask.  Well, the show, at least for me, is a double-edged sword.  Yes, it teaches men how to improve the tricks up their sleeve, but in a way, it also provides women the opportunity to learn more about how men act and how they should react.  As Sun Tzu, author of book “The Art Of War” said,

“Know your enemy and know yourself, find naught in fear for 100 battles. Know yourself but not your enemy, find level of loss and victory. Know thy enemy but not yourself, wallow in defeat every time.”

In short, if you want to win the war, know yourself and the enemy.  Besides being one big game, the dating scene, can also be in a way, a battleground; so it’s important to arm yourself and learn how the “enemy” moves.  It can help women detect a player if she encounters one and crush him immediately, if necessary!  Haha!  (No, I’m definitely not bitter about anything or anyone for that matter!)

Despite the seemingly easy way those men pick up women, the show just made me realize something too – that coming up to a woman is not an easy task.  I mean, guys are basically terrified of women!  Why else would such a show exist if it is such an effortless task?  To my women friends, imagine yourself in the shoes of men: You have to “pass” the stringest checklist of the man you’re attracted to, not to mention, the approval of their “boyfriends” only to be rejected and humiliated at times!  Men have to continually improve their style and tricks, just to get a girl’s number, or at the very least her attention!  It can be a tough job, no?  No wonder some guys like it when girls do the first move.  It relieves them of the pressure.

Another thing that I realized courtesy of KTVIP is that women actually have the upperhand in such situations and not the other way
around.  A woman would be most likely to be played if she does not set limits and standards.  Take control of the situation and don’t just
“go with the flow.”

I don’t get to watch KTVIP that often anymore, sadly.   I hope I can catch it one of these days again.  I need some good laugh.

So to those women who are still convinced that this show is crap.  I won’t disagree with you if that’s how you see it.  But who knows,
one day, you might use some of these tips/styles to catch your own prey too.  And I guess, women just have to be thankful, in an itsy-bitsy way to this show, ‘cause at least fewer and fewer men would come up to you and ask questions like,

“You look familiar. Have we met?”

“Is this seat taken? Are you?”

“Am I in heaven ‘cause I’m looking at an angel right now.”

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